A lovely time was had by all
22 Oct 2011 Leave a Comment
continued…
Fancy dinner. Drinks afterward. No dancing (that was ok). I had a nice time. He did too. He made the appropriate number of sincere comments about how beautiful I am, how much he likes me, and how excited he was to hear from me after our first date. I blushed a few times but it wasn’t weird or awkward.
He’s a pretty far right republican. I made it clear that I’m a pro choice, pro gay rights, liberal democrat. We talked about not expecting to change people. But omg he liked Sarah Palin. This is disturbing.
He has a sister he’s super close to, and this actually shows in how respectful he is of women. He acknowledges that women can have it tough out there. He asked if he could walk me to the door, and I said yes, and he walked me to the steps before by big dog started going nuts at the stranger on the walkway. He didn’t press me for a kiss, so I hugged him and said thank you. No pressure and it didn’t make me feel bad.
This is something I could get used to.
We were able to disagree and spar just a little tiny bit. He’s masculine, take charge, confident and successful. Knows how to treat a girl and enjoys the finer things – his words I think. Oh and he has really nice hands. I’ve just gotta get past the Sarah Palin thing. Ugh.
Anticipation (you gotta sing it like the Carly Simon song)
21 Oct 2011 Leave a Comment
Been in a bit of a tizzy today. When Mike (see Thank you to tonight’s date) asked when he could see me again, I told him to surprise me with what we were doing Saturday night. Today he let me know he made reservations at the Tavern at the fancytown Broadmoor Resort. Wow! Talk about stepping it up! So I spent the afternoon shopping for an outfit to wear. I’m so excited to have someone who’s confident and at the same time clearly wanting to impress me. And I’m thrilled to have someone I equally want to pull out the stops for.
There’s dancing at the restaurant! Dinner and dancing?! So grown up.
I think I’ve got the outfit down. Turns out it was a dress I already had, but I have a cute new jacket to wear with it. Heels. New bra and even a slip/cami thing to smooth it all out. I hope the sparks are flying and it’s a great date. Oh he’s even going to pick me up at home. (Please don’t let him turn out to be a whackjob stalker.)
He’s playing it cool, too. Not texting except for the basics to coordinate the date. Keeps me on the edge of my seat….
…to be continued
A thank you note to tonight’s date
19 Oct 2011 Leave a Comment
Don’t worry this is G rated. I am even going out again with him Saturday night. Yes, he earned a sacred Saturday night date.
I’d like to send out a big thank you to Mike, tonight’s dinner date.
Thank you for not talking about your exgirlfriends and ex wife about everything they did wrong to you and analyzing your relationship history. Thank you for not wanting to hear about MY ex and relationship history.
Thank you for being respectful of my personal space and offering a handshake at the end of the date, and not assuming that I want a big lingering hug. It was a nice change to wave off the handshake and give you a hug. Thanks for not making me feel like a total prude, frigid dork because I don’t want to make out in the parking lot (or even kiss) and for not pawing at me, making me feel like heading for the hills.
Thank you for being clear that you want to pick up the check and being gracious when I thanked you for dinner.
Thank you for not monopolizing the conversation, making me sit there nodding for an hour while you ramble on and on.
Thank you for being cool, like you’re used to being around smart, attractive people and for not awkwardly fawning over me, but still being complimentary to me.
Behold!
18 Jul 2011 Leave a Comment
For unto this day a spark was born! Yes, I saw someone online who actually made my heart pitter patter. I even “favorited” him. For a rules girl like me, that’s huge. Unprecedented in fact.
It gave me great hope, hope for a slightly witty, clever, age appropriate, boyishly handsome and slightly rugged but still sort of smart looking fellow. Someone I could get excited about. Being an optimist, you see, it doesn’t bother me that he hasn’t noticed me. If not him, then there will be others.
I’m just happy that I feel a spark in there.
This one’s for the guys
14 Jun 2011 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: dating
My divorce was finalized last week. I’ve been a divorcee for a week. Oh boy. Here come the hot pants and halter tops. At 38 I’m not sure if I’m old enough to be a cougar.
Along those lines I had another first date today which primordial Mr to share some dating tips for you fellas out there.
Don’t refer to your ex wife as your wife. I know you didn’t mean to and it was out of habit but that doesnt make it better. It makes me feel like I’m the other woman, or at least like you aren’t over her yet.
Don’t ask me out for a second date while standing in the parking lot at the end of the first date. Im so glad upu had a great time but it’s just plain awkward if I am Not feeling it and don’t want to take it further. I don’t want to be mean and say no right then and there but I don’t want to lead you on and say yes. Let me have a few minutes to reflect before putting me on the spot.
And of I do say no, for heaven’s sake don’t hound me about why I said no! I actually had one guy text me several times wanting to know exactly why. When I explained that I just didn’t feel any chemistry, he asked if he could call me (I said no) and then got snappy and said he knew there must be a real reason!
That’s all for tonight but I’m sure there will be more tips to come 
Again: to do or not to do
21 Apr 2011 Leave a Comment
A few months ago I pondered, was I lazy for taking down time? For not pushing it to the limit every day to try to get everything done? (http://wp.me/pWglL-4M)
I just read an article in Women’s Health that raised this same question. Their take on it was that we incorporate stress into our lives as a way to prove productivity (and perhaps, I think, our worth). The article even said “Women have come to believe that if they are not working every second, they are lazy.” Yep, I’ve definitely felt that. Hmmm.
Sense of adventure
19 Apr 2011 Leave a Comment
My friend and I applied to be on the Amazing Race a while ago. I was shocked that we never heard back. Yes, they receive tens of thousands of applications, however I truly expected the phone to ring. No ringy dingy.
But looking through some active.com races coming up this summer (I really need a goal, ie deadline, to motivate me to get my butt in gear) I found something cool. It’s a mini amazing race called the Scavenger Dash. In cities across the US, it’s a half day race with challenges, detours, and the like, with the goal of being the first team to step across the finish line.
We are so doing it. It’ll be good practice for when Phil calls us in real life to compete in the big leagues on CBS. But the best part is, I feel my long-dormant sense of adventure returning! Yay!
Tales from the dating realm
18 Apr 2011 Leave a Comment
In honor of my brother’s birthday today, I’m going to share a few stories from the dating realm. What does that have to do with my brother, you ask? He’s my dating coach. He tells me things like, “Sis, your weekends are sacred. They have to EARN weekend time with you” and “You don’t have time to have dinner with someone – God forbid dinner and a movie – until you’ve screened them over coffee or a drink!” He’s hardcore.
So I’ve started dating and it’s fun, actually. I am relishing the attention. Here’s a summary of my escapades so far:
1. The Rat Guy (email only): Mentioned that he was glad to see that I was an animal lover because he’s got NINE pet rats. Yes, you read correctly. Major ewww factor. Closed that match right on down.
2. The Fish Guy (another one who didn’t make it past the email stage): Started out by telling me his sign (of the zodiac), his ex’s sign, his kids’ signs, and because he was considerate and curious, asked what my sign was. Well, I know I’m a Capricorn, but that’s about all I know about that. But then he told me the names of each of his twelve fish. Kinda bizarre. Another one bites the dust.
3. The First Date. With a nice fella, met for coffee, but not a match. Cut him loose before the second date. I was so happy to have this milestone behind me. Jubilant almost.
4. The Texan. Another nice guy. He made it to date #2 – a movie! Again, just no chemistry and I turned him down for a third date. It’s hard when they ask at the end of the date, looking into your eyes with hope and optimism. I’m still getting used to saying no. THIS IS A BIG LESSON FOR ME: JUST BECAUSE A GUY LIKES ME, DOESN’T MEAN I HAVE TO DATE HIM! All you savvy daters out there probably were born knowing this, but it doesn’t come naturally to me. I feel bad turning them down, like I’m judging them! Here was a new experience though – I got questioned repeatedly via text as to why I wasn’t interested. Come on dude. Don’t make it harder than it is. Next!
5. The Fireman. Sort of sexy, a little bit older, with that rugged “I could take care of you in an emergency” appeal. Date #2 was just today in fact (lunch). Forgive me for sounding self absorbed, but he doesn’t ask me about myself at all. Is he nervous, so just keeps talking about himself, or is this a sign? Regardless of the reason, I don’t see this going anywhere.
6. The Executive. Have a lunch date tomorrow with him and I’m really looking forward to this one, but it feels like I never like anyone. I wonder how many suitors I’ll go out with before I find someone I dig. Hmm. At least I know I’m not a lesbian (not that there’s anything wrong with that), but I don’t have to waste any time dating women to be sure of that!
Learning not to care
11 Apr 2011 Leave a Comment
That sounds like the title of a song…and I know it’s one of the big lessons I need to learn in my life. To not care what people think about me. Here’s how I’ve had the opportunity to learn this biggie.
The STBE posted on his Facebook page that he can now empathize with people whose spouses have cheated on them.
Bam! A flurry of puke-inducing comments ensued, along the likes of “I can’t believe that – wow!” (no sh*t you can’t believe it, it’s because it’s a big fat lie); “I’m so sorry you’re going through that” (you’ll really be sorry when you find out it’s not true); and the obligatory “Feel for you” – “Hang in there” – “You deserve better” sympathetic responses as well. Oh puh-leeze.
I really struggled with the volume of ill will I imagined coming my way. Like, REALLY. I wanted to post something on MY wall indicating a) he had flipped his lid, b) please disregard any vicious lies posted about me, or c) I am hiring an attorney to sue for defamation. But I swallowed my pride and let people think what they would. I didn’t post a thing about him, it or me. I choked back all the buts – but he can’t do that, but people will think it’s true, but I need to defend myself – and I bit my tongue.
Maybe my natural tendency to avoid confrontation and run from conflict made it a tiny bit easier to not address it publicly. I’m not sure, but it sure killed me thinking what awful thoughts people had about me. But ha, here I am, I didn’t spontaneously combust, received no death threats. Maybe the truth, good or bad, always comes out in the end. But for now, I just remind myself that it doesn’t matter what other people think about me. All that matters is what I think of myself. Moving on.
My Perfect Man List
04 Apr 2011 Leave a Comment
A friend sent me this link:
http://www.chookooloonks.com/blog/2011/3/31/the-story-of-my-perfect-man-list.html
I’ve heard of this before but haven’t yet done it. Maybe I’m not ready to meet THE ONE …ok the 3rd one…but I do believe in the general concept of manifestation. So I have decided to give it a shot. Instead of putting it under my pillow or tucking it in a drawer, I’m sending it out into cyberspace. You know, in case he’s far away and I need to project it out a little further than a printed version would go.
Here I go – remember, I’m allowed to be really picky, selfish, and even silly if that’s what rocks my boat. Don’t judge!
cute, like a cleancut cowboy but not too pretty that women swoon over him wherever he goes
smart. easily uses big words and doesn’t think i’m stuck up for using them too.
financially stable, even financially free. jetting off for a quick vacay to hawaii is no biggie.
likes to travel.
grown up, and isn’t still searching for who he is.
a middle age to older soul. see above.
is a family man (or wants to be). likes theme parks, making animal shaped pancakes for kids, has a patient tolerance for large quantities of children and doesn’t feel burdened if we have a houseful of kids and friends and i want to go to the mall by myself.
likes to have fun but isn’t necessarily a daredevil adventure thrill seeker. likes to get out and do things but isn’t an adrenaline junkie.
enjoys (to a small degree at least) shopping with me once in a while.
likes pets. doesn’t mind a menagerie of animals underfoot. doesn’t think i’m crazy for wanting sheep and chickens.
isn’t anti-tv and will watch (or at least sit with me while i watch) my favorite reality tv shows.
good in bed. yeah, you know that’s gotta factor in
sexy looking (see #1). looks good with a little scruff sometimes. but no beard or mustache normally. too scratchy.
gives nice shoulder rubs.
likes to read.
likes my friends. a no brainer! and for the record, how can anyone NOT like my friends?!
tech savvy enough to troubleshoot for me when i can’t print.
isn’t controlling. easy going. is secure enough to let me be me and not try to change me.
not a clean freak, or at least not bothered by my tendancy toward messiness. or is happy to hire a great housekeeper to keep after me.
gets along with my family.
is funny. doesn’t have to be the life of the party but is fun to be around at a gathering.
gets my sense of humor and thinks i’m funny.
thinks i’m the hottest, smartest, sexiest, most adorable thing he’s ever encountered. in his whole life.
wants to adopt kids with me and help me raise them.
has a generous heart, wants to make the world a better place, and is not a conservative republican.
likes to cook and makes yummy meals.
is respected, generally well liked, highly regarded by others (and me of course).
is emotionally/mentally stable.
has nice teeth.
is healthy.
has some style.
it’s ok if he likes to go camping, but he doesn’t need me to go with him. yeah, no thanks.
is romantic.
